Ask a Question
Meet the Panel
All Questions

Dear Panel,

I am 17 years old and have intended all my life to wait until I was married to have sex. Last night, my boyfriend and I were making-out and, though I told him "No",he put his penis inside of me. I don't think he broke my hymen but I did feel a little pain. I am scared to death that I am not a virgin. Please help me.

P.S. I kicked his ass to the curb for doing it without my permission.


Mare Answers:


Sorry, but she's no longer a virgin!

Are you still a virgin? In my opinion, you are if you believe you are. What anyone else thinks shouldn't really matter.

What's more important in your question is what's going on between you and your boyfriend. It sounds like you two could get "carried away" again and the result could be dangerous if you're not prepared. Therefore, you need to decide where you stand and act accordingly.

Here's what I think you should do:

  1. Decide how important it is to you to stay a virgin until you are married. (I am not saying that you should or shouldn't stay a virgin. That is a personal choice that only you can make for yourself.)
  2. Make it very clear to your boyfriend (and yourself) what your decision is.

No penis-vagina contact

  1. I would say eliminate all heavy petting.
    If it is important to you to stay a virgin, then you and your boyfriend need to take responsibility for what happens - in other words, absolutely no penis-vagina contact. If he violates this again, you need to kick his ass much, much further than the curb. I'd suggest Siberia or Saskatoon. This would show a great lack of respect for you.
  2. If it isn't that important to you to stay a virgin then you need to decide whether or not you are going to have sex with this particular man. If you are, you decide when it's going to be. It's your body and you get to be in charge of it. Also, because it's your body, you need to take care of it. Be sure to use condoms both to protect yourself from diseases like AIDS and to keep yourself from getting pregnant. Tell your boyfriend, "No glove, no love."

Take charge of the situation and be firm about what you want.

Tell us what you think grnbut.gif








Site Design by:
Bleeding Edge Design