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Dear Panel,

gosh! my boyfriend is *choking* me by degree! At first I felt taken care of when he was really concerned about me, like when I went out alone (even if I went shopping) or just visiting my family and friends but now I feel suffocated.

I mean I used to go out whenever I feel like it or on a whim but now I have to tell him where I am going or who I am going to see and how long will I be gone. I didn't cheat on him since we were together and I told him the truth so




Alicia Answers:

Dear Choked-

Get out while you can!!!!  See my answer to "Hitting the Road", who asked about knowing when to get out of a relationship.  In my opinion, there is nothing more detrimental to a person's self-esteem than a possessive guy telling you what you can and can't do.  At first, it's not bad.

It could turn dangerous.

  hopeTinL.gifIn fact, it makes you feel loved and protected.  But it can get out of control.  And you feel suffocated.  Then you stop being happy because you can't be yourself. 

Evaluate this relationship.   Maybe he wants more of a commitment than you are ready to give.  Maybe he is experiencing anxiety because you are all he has, while you have a lot of other things going on in your life. 

But probably he is just too jealous and you need to let him go.


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