Dear Waiting for Love,
I hear ya sista!
The decision to save yourself for someone that you love is one of the toughest to make and stick to. Unfortunately, in this day and age, girls and guys alike are feeling the pressure at a very young age to have sex before they may truly be ready. This often will result in the end of a relationship if one does not decide to consent.
Is He Even Worth It?
Unfortunately, the reality is that some guys just can't imagine life without sex. That's not to say that it's fair for them to pressure you into doing something that you don't want to do though.
The way I see it, if a relationship ends because you won't have sex with the guy, then what were you doing with him in the first place? Obviously he is not worth your time and certainly not worth putting your heart into.
A Similar Thing Happened To Me
I can definitely relate to your dilemma. I was involved with a guy for about a year and every now and then the topic of sex would come up and I would tell him that I just wasn't ready yet. While I was not saving myself for marriage I WAS waiting for when I, not anybody else, was ready. I guess he decided that I was taking too long and he broke up with me just short of having been together a year.
Basically, he told me that he felt like things were just staying the same and going nowhere. Translation : "you aren't 'giving it up' so I need to go find someone else who will." I was heartbroken and depressed and I began pondering your exact question.
My New Guy
The good news is that I met a new guy who understands that we will not have sex until I am ready for it. And you know what? He is still around. He has been for a few months now and our relationship is very solid. It is based on more than just sex and physical pleasure. I have found a guy who is truly interested in what I have to say and how I am feeling.
I have a friend who did "give it up" because she was afraid that she would lose her boyfriend if she didn't. You know what? She still lost him. For some guys its the thrill of the chase and once they get it they are gone. For others, unless they get it they are gone.
Stick To Your Beliefs
BUT, I promise you that those rare specimens do exist, even though they are few and far between. Hang in there, stand by your values and your beliefs and don't let any guy convince you otherwise. Any guy who breaks up with you just because you are not ready to have sex with him, wasn't worth your time and effort in the first place.
Save yourself for someone who you truly love and want to remember for the rest of your life. While losing your virginity is not the be all and end all of your life, it is a very significant moment. One that you are likely to remember for the rest of your life and that person is likely to always remain in your mind. You want that memory to be a good one and that person to have been someone special.
Better To Be Alone Than Compromise Beliefs
Even though it's tough to realize that some guys are going to leave you over sex, remember that they weren't worth your time to begin with. There is nothing wrong with being alone if the alternative is being in a situation with someone who pressures you into doing something you aren't ready to do.
Hang in there and good luck finding Mr. Right.