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Dear Madeline,

This guy clearly intrigues you. You seem a bit uncomfortable about the difference in power that you two have due to your being his student.

I agree that this can be a problem as I have said in an answer to a confused damsel, several months ago.

Your situation is nice, though, because you are soon to be out of his class. Then, you can go to his office hours, or call him, and suggest a more social meeting.

Of course most profs love it, They have fragile egos, & it flatters them

College professors love to go out and have coffee with former students. (I know because my wife, my father, and my brother are all college professors!) I think in that more neutral setting you will see for yourself if he is really interested in you.

You can ask personal questions, "Are you married?" "What kinds of relationships have you had with African American people in the past?" I think it's wonderful that you are attracted to this man, and you seem to be in a good place in your life to meet people.

Take it slow, make sure he meets your needs for clarity and communication. Also, how much is the racial difference an issue for you? The conversation about this issue can really exciting and illuminating for both of you, I would think.

Good luck!






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