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Back to what triggered this response.

Jody said:

If Patrick is using the porn for masturbation, which he probably is, he is demonstrating that he sees women as a tool to be used for self-satisfaction. Sex to him is something he GETS not a relationship he HAS.

A Reader Responds:

Jayne said:

"You're grown up, act like it."

Hmm, guess you haven't dated many, or perhaps any, people of a different race.

This is "Madeline" again, by the way. Believe it or not, it really doesn't matter that I'm an adult, the real issue is that I can't read him.

If this were a black male, there wouldn't even be a question about his interest or lack of interest in me. Although I appreciate your attempt to help (and I realize it was free), the sarcasm isn't really appreciated.

Believe it or not, cultural issues really ARE a big deal. In my experience (somewhat limited though it may be), I can hardly ever tell when a white guy is interested in me.

I'm not a stupid person, but given the fact that a black guy will practically assault you on the street, follow you around a grocery store, turn his car around in the other direction to talk to you, etc. while white men merely ask you polite questions about your background, interests, and plans, call me silly, but the contrasts in behavior ARE confusing to me.

The way blacks and whites pursue romance and sex is completely different. Trying to read him is like trying to read the bland guy on the television advertising toothpaste--persuasive, but what does it all mean?

Anyway, I've since discovered that he's probably married. Another former student of his told me (in passing), that her best friend dates his stepson. Not concrete proof, but close.

Although I don't really doubt that "Mr. Wonderful" likes me, my gut is telling me to back away. It's a small campus and I will inevitably run into him anyway, but I won't go out of my way to find him.

Perhaps by then the fog in my brain will have cleared out.


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