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Welcome to the wonderful world of dating.

You have just embarked on a roller coaster ride that is more confusing than finding Waldo. It's a jungle out there and we are all just trying to survive.

OK, now that I am done being the welcome wagon, on to your question.

Long-Distance Doesn't Work

Come on. The only good thing about her boyfriend is that he lives far away.

First of all I would like to point out a fact that I will stick to until the day I die that fact being: Long distance relationships do NOT (I repeat NOT) work out (there are a few exceptions but they are very rare and have a lot of time invested before the distance). OK let's start from the top of your letter and work our way down.

You Might be Missing Great Opportunities

I agree. College is a great social environment, and she is not taking advantage of it.

You say that you are inexperienced in relationships, yet you do not date anyone that asks you out. Why why why? Don't get me wrong, it's good that you are waiting for the right guy to come along. The only problem I see with this theory is that while you are waiting for prince charming to ride in on his white horse you're missing out on Joe next door who could just well be a great guy, a great friend and a great boyfriend. Now I am not saying date EVERY guy you have ask you out, just give some a try. You might surprise yourself.

But that's not the point of the letter so lets get to it.

Everything that you said about your boyfriend just seems so negative. Are you really happy with him or what he does for you? I think you should reevaluate the relationship. I couldn't find one nice thing that you said about your boyfriend.

No one can live up to ideal standards, but she shouldn't settle for a nightmare either.

Another thing is that it sounds like you have idealized the perfect boyfriend and Sam isn't measuring up. No one can ever live up to standards, so try compromising. It sounds to me like you should just cut your losses and look for someone more local.

OK now the question: Is his behavior typical?

Well there is no set thing that guys do to show that they care. Each has his own special little way of letting his girlfriend know that he cares. Just because he doesn't open doors or he makes you pay half doesn't mean that he doesn't care.

It sounds like he is trying to protect himself. He got hurt by his last girlfriend and he's trying to not let that happen again so he isn't being his normal self. Maybe he isn't the type to always dole out the compliments.

He Might Care

Fear not. Just because he doesn't do the sweet things he used to does not mean he doesn't care.

My boyfriend was Mr. Romance in the flesh when he was courting me. Once we began a relationship the super sweet things began to die down. Now he will occasionally open doors for me (like when I refuse to get out of the car) and I don't receive the good morning emails like I used to. But he still cares and I know he does by the way he acts around me. He just is comfortable in our relationship (we just celebrated our 5 month anniversary a few days ago). With you having a long distance relationship though, it's hard to tell.

But first, she should make sure that she talks to him about her feelings

Take some time out and try and figure out if you are happy. If you aren't then let him go. It's not easy but there's someone out there for you.

Good luck =)

 

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