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Mare Answers:

Do you love her?

Do you tell her?

Do you make her feel special when you're together?

I am glad that you mentioned kids, I think that they are a big part of the problem.

When she's exhausted from running around with your two kids, do you take care of the kids and make dinner? Do you take her out to dinner or away on a weekend WITHOUT expecting sex in return? Do you kiss her and tell her she's beautiful? Have you asked her what would get HER feeling in the mood for sex?

Have You Given Unselfishly

If you answered yes to all of these questions - in other words, if you've really, honestly, with all of you heart, given unselfishly to her -- you've done everything you can. If you answered no, you may want to try it. (It's about repairing the relationship, not getting the sex, by the way.)

Final thought: You end the letter by saying the relationship is poor and there is lots of fighting. Is sex the real issue here? I know you tried it before, but couples counseling might help you identify where the problems lie.

-- Mare


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