Ask a QuestionMeet mare
Meet the Panel
All Questions

Back to the full question

Mare Answers:

There's A Lot At Stake

I am not sure she is really in love. She could just be horny.

It's always hard when you fall in love with your best friend because there is so much at stake. You're caught between two competing feelings: This person is so special that I'd like to turn it into a romance. But if I try, I risk losing the friendship and feeling awkward if it doesn't work out.

Normally, I suggest that you casually say, "Hey, how come we've never dated?" and see what kind of answer you get.

In your case, though, it's more complicated.

Beware of Neaderthals

It is a sad fact that there are still some Neanderthals in our society who can't handle the idea of women loving women and men loving men. I don't know why this has happened, but the evil Dr. Laura and others have done nothing to make things better. I could go on and on about how ridiculous this is, so don't get me started.

Let's just say that it is possible that your friend will be so uncomfortable with your feelings for her that she may reject both your love and your friendship.

Seek Support

It would be safer if she did it in phases: fisrt she should tell about her general lesbian feelings.

Before you say anything to your friend, please look up "Gay and Lesbian" in the yellow pages and call the nearest lesbian and gay resource center. Or, go the Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) website. You can click on the map where it says "Chapter Information" and look for the group nearest you or contact them through the website. You will meet people there who can offer you support and share their experiences about falling in love with best friends. This is what you need the most right now.

Whether or not you hook up with your friend, I hope you meet a nice girl some day and have a wonderful relationship.


Click here to see the full question & other panelists' responses.


What do you think of Mare's Answer?

What part of her answer are you reacting to?

What do you think?

Signature to use with your reaction:

Your gender:


Your age:

Your location:

optional: email address (WILL NOT BE PUBLISHED)




Site Design by:
Bleeding Edge Design