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Do I settle for a relationship without sex?

Dear Panel,

...once we had an exciting and varied sex life, now the thought of touching him is the last thing on my mind – I hate to admit it, but I no longer find him sexually attractive and sex with him is unfulfilling and a chore – he just doesn't 'turn me on' anymore...

– Clare

 

[read the entire question below]

Dear Panel,

Seven Months

I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now, and we've been living together for seven months. Whilst I love him deeply, over the past few months my attitude towards him has changed dramatically.

Sex Is a Chore

Whereas once we had an exciting and varied sex life, now the thought of touching him is the last thing on my mind - I hate to admit it, but I no longer find him sexually attractive and sex with him is unfulfilling and a chore - he just doesn't 'turn me on' anymore.

He's My Best Friend

At first I would always cave in to his advances in an attempt to make him happy, but nowadays he knows that I'm not interested, and it makes him upset. I've considered breaking up with him over this, but he is not only my lover but my best friend, and I would hate to lose him.

Long-Term Commitment

I don't know what to do - I don't want to be resigned to a relationship without sex, but I don't want to lose my boyfriend. If I do decide to end our relationship it will break his heart (we have a long term commitment) and I know he will want nothing to do with me.

What should I do?

-- Clare

 

Everett, Mo, Charlie, and Petite answer this question.

A guy who is in the same situation:
"Why do I refuse intimacy with my sexy girlfriend?"

For the other side: A guy realizes that his wife is not attracted to him.
"Am I a creep to leave her for sex?"

And
"How do I get my wife to make whoopie?"

 

 

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