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Is it unrealistic to want a guy who is a virgin?


Dear Virgin,

Good Luck

If you meet your ideal virgin man I think you will be very lucky.

There are several issues here.

Finding Virgin Men in your Age Bracket Is Unrealistic

First off: There is nothing wrong with not having sex with someone if you're not comfortable. That is your right. However, if you are dating men in your age bracket it is unrealistic to believe you will find many that are virgins. If your boyfriend is not someone you see yourself with in the long run, then don't even consider sex.

People Have Pasts

Alicia It's any woman he has even thought about. She is just jealous.

Second: Is it just women that your boyfriend has slept with or is it all women he has dated? As you well know things can be done intimately without having sex. When you are dating people in their 20's they usually have a past with other people.

Discuss the Past

Some people will tell you never to discuss past relationships with your partner. I say the opposite, you should discuss your past. However, when it comes to sex only a few things need to be discussed:

  1. How many partners?
  2. Have you ever been tested for AIDS and STDs?

That is it, end of story.

Never Compare Sexual Experiences

You shouldn't compare or discuss sexual experiences, ever. This may leave you wondering, but it's still better than picturing an ex with your man.

Think Only of Him

I think you need to be realistic and learn to accept that a person's past comes with the package. My recommendation on how to do that: It may have been done before with someone else but every experience is unique and special. He is with you because he wants to be with you, not the women in his past. He is only thinking of you, not them. Give him the respect of thinking only of him.

Be Safe

Third: Be educated about AIDS and STDs regardless of what you decide to do. And use protection it is cheaper in the long run than diapers or hospital bills.



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