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Should I visit him if he doesn't love me?

A Guest Answers:


Allow me to answer your questions first and then delve into the explanation thereof:

Yes, he just got carried away.

No, you should not go and see him.

No, you should not just forget about him.

Internet Relationships Are Exciting

I don't agree. Internet relationships are hard.

Internet relationships are for the most part very exciting. You get to experience the best part of someone because you are seeing that which they wish you to see. No bad habits, no inconsistencies, just the best parts of the whole.

The Transition Didn't Work

Actual relationships however, force you to take the good with the bad, and to learn to compromise in order to experience the good one has to offer. You've taken an Internet relationship, where it was all wine and virtual roses, and tried the transition into actual. It didn't work, and I'm sorry for that.

You Hurried a Decision That Should Take Time

The fact that you have so much distance between you two doesn't help either. You are hurried into making decisions that should take some time, (such as saying "I love you"); because of the distance and the short span of time you can spend together. I have a feeling he wasn't the only one who got carried away. We build up expectations of our partners and are oft disappointed when they aren't met. It sounds like he had a few of his own expectations, and made a decision based on them. Now this in no way means you are lacking, it just means he didn't feel you were right for him in that capacity.

Don't Visit Him

Now I do advise against visiting him so soon after all of this. You need some time to regroup and establish a relationship with him that is based on friendship as opposed to romance. See where it goes from there. Who knows, you may get to know each other and understand one another better over time and through the bond of friendship, and perhaps find a new beginning. But these things take time. I wouldn't place all your eggs in one basket, but I wouldn't start breaking any either.

You Acquired a Friend

In closing, I feel for your misfortune, it never feels good when your feelings and those of your intended don't mesh. That is life. But it is only a small part of it. Remember, you have to take the good with the bad.

If she accepts him as a friend, then she CAN visit him.

Your relationship may not have worked out, but you've acquired a friend, and I know of no one who couldn't use another one of those.

Good luck Lyledrin, stay strong.

– Saibhin


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