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How can I get my boyfriend to talk to me?


Amanda, honey,

Take three steps backward and think about all of this very carefully.

I Was Innocent at 15

At the age of fifteen, I used to go to the mall and shop. I used to baby-sit occasionally for friends of my parents. I even had a crush on a boy or two and some of my friends had boyfriends who they had barely kissed.

Jimmy But it's unrealistic to tell her to stop having sex.

Try to think about the future consequences of the actions that you are taking right now. Why do you feel the need to have sex with all these boys?

They're Using You

It sounds to me like they are using you. Not many 20-something year old guys are able to find intellectually stimulating conversation with a fifteen-year-old. You are in two different chapters of your lives and you are trying to grow up way too fast.

While I understand your dilemma, I have a hard time giving you "love advice" because, quite honestly, I feel that you should not be with either one of these guys. Chris is using you for sex and Jesse is too – even though you think you are using him.

What Is Going On with Your Family?

Your need to grow up so fast makes me wonder what is going on with your family? Where are your parents while all of this is going on? Do they know that you are sleeping around at the age of 15?

Get Tested

It is also very important that you are being safe and using protection of some sort. There are way too many diseases out there for you to take this lightly and, in fact, I would recommend that you get yourself tested. How many other girls have these boys been having sex with? Also, are you ready to be a mother?

With regard to your actual question about how to deal with these two boys:

Lose Chris

Chris treats you horribly – lose him. I know that is hard to do when you think you love him, but hopefully in the future you will come to realize that that is not what true love is – true love is two people loving one another unconditionally and treating each other well – not being an asshole, as you described Chris.

Be Honest with Jesse

As far as Jesse, if he was in jail he sounds like he could also be bad news. If you don't like him, don't sleep with him – be honest, because that's how you would want someone to be with you.

Stop Sleeping Around

Amanda, please, be safe, get yourself tested, and stop sleeping around. Sleeping with multiple guys is not the answer to your problems – whatever they may be. You need to figure out what is making you so unhappy or confused that you are seeking the love and attention from these MUCH older guys who want nothing more than to use you for sex.

You're an Easy Target

Be careful – it's a cruel world out there, and you are an easy target that guys will take advantage of and in the end you will get hurt.

Perpetuating a Bad Reputation

You say that you are overcoming a bad reputation, but it sounds to me like you are perpetuating it, and maybe that in itself should be a reason to change your behavior. You don't want to become known as the "easy lay" or "that slut" – no girl wants to be called these terrible names. But if you continue to sleep around with much older guys, your reputation will only get worse.




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