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How can you tell if someone likes you?


Dear Confused,

I want to congratulate you for being OK with never having had a boyfriend. Like you, I had not had a serious relationship when I was seventeen and it was shortly after that when Justin fell into my lap. I got a new job, met this new boy, and all of a sudden things just fell into place.

Figure Out What You Want

I can identify with what you mean when you say that you have experienced times when you are unsure about what a guy wants. Guys have this same problem with girls.

I'm wondering if you know what you want, too? I would say that that is the first step – figuring out if you are interested in getting involved in a relationship. Once you have determined that, you are on your way to figuring out the rest.

What Guys Have in Mind


There is a third possibility: the flirting is just playful.

When a guy approaches you, he usually has one of two things in mind.

  1. He wants to meet you and is genuinely interested in getting to know you and find things out about you, OR

  2. he just wants to see if he can get a sign from you that you may be interested too.

Often this is a game or a competition between guys which can lead to your feelings getting hurt.

Call Him on It

I used to flirt back and see where things went. If it seemed as if the guy was just messing around, I would get to the point where I would call him on it or just walk away.

Sometimes, a guy that is interested in you may not be appealing to you – don't lead those guys on.

They Hang Around You

Usually if someone genuinely likes you, they begin to pay more attention to you and spend their time, at a party for example, with you and around you. They often make the effort to be in the same places and hang around some of the same people as you do. Some guys are even bold enough to approach your friends to get an idea about what you think of them.

They Fidget, Mumble, or Blush

Those guys who are more shy or less experienced may have a harder time, but often this is the easiest type of guy to figure out. He probably gets a bit nervous and fidgety around you and may even sometimes mumble or blush around you.

Foxy Go for It


Why risk rejection? I would wait for him to let her know.

If you find that you are attracted to a guy, I would recommend going for it even if he hasn't directly expressed interest in you first. While this is toying with the idea that you may face rejection, it is worth it because sometimes you have to take risks to get what you want. Being honest, open, and up front, with people is the best way to ensure that there are no mixed messages and that your intentions are also made clear from the start.

LIkewise, if you find that you are being pursued by a guy that you are not interested in, be honest and tell him. Just as you would rather know sooner than later, so would he.

A Different Guy Every Weekend

At your age, I admire you for not stressing over having a boyfriend. You are still young and there are so many opportunities waiting to be had. There is no reason why you shoudln't be able to date a different guy every weekend until you meet someone who seems appealing and worth your time and devotion. Take it easy, relax and enjoy this time in your life.




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