My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. We've spent about half of it apart because he's going to school in a different state.
We haven't had sex, although we've been really close.
A few weeks into our relationship, we discussed past sexual experiences. He has had one.
My boyfriend doesn't know it, but I know his ex-girlfriend. She has a well-earned reputation for being a slut and a cheater, and has been with tons of guys. (My boyfriend is originally from another state and had no idea. In fact, she told him she was a virgin. I almost died when I heard that.)
At the time we had the talk, my boyfriend was really upset, so I dropped the subject.
We've fooled around a lot, and from some of the comments my boyfriend made LATER, I think he doesn't like using protection, i.e. condoms. (She was on the Pill and he thought she was a virgin. He thought he had nothing to worry about.) It makes me sick thinking about it. I had no clue.
What it all comes down to is this: I want him to get tested for STDs, but I don't know how to bring it up.
My boyfriend will be visiting me in a couple of weeks.
When I ask, how should I go about doing it? I know he'll be very uncomfortable and upset. If I bring up the ex-girlfriend, he'll think I was spying. I wasn't, I just knew beforehand and didn't want to hurt him. He would be horrified if he knew that she was like that.
I know I should have asked in the beginning, but he was just SO UPSET and I couldn't bring myself to do it. Now, it's kind of late into the relationship to bring this up, but I have to.
I thought about saying, "You've always used condoms in the past, right?" Just asking from left field. What do you think? Do you have any better ideas?
Female, age 19, Florida Mel, Lani, and Bailey answer this question.