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Dear Anonymous,

Get Over Yourself

Of all of the elements that go into a good marital relationship, you seem to be able to focus on just one. It is evident from your question that sex is always uppermost in your thoughts – at home – at work. Get over yourself.

Help Her Instead of Blaming Her


Helping her means supporting any changes.

There could be many reasons (medical and/or emotional) that your wife does not want to have sex. Have you ever thought of trying to help her, instead of blaming her? Maybe having your first child was a very traumatic experience for her. Maybe she feels that if she has regular sex that she will get pregnant again and she's obviously not ready for that.

You Like Attention from Other Women

Have you sought professional help? Or do you only talk about your lack of sex with your partner with all the "girls" in the office. If you did not want them coming on to you, why talk to them about this private matter? It appears that you like the "oh you poor boy" attention.

You're Looking for an Excuse

Right now, it seems to me (and I could be very, very wrong) that you are looking for an excuse to get out of your marriage and get on with some of these "invitations" you've been getting. If this is the case, do it. But don't blame it on your wife. And don't add insult to injury by doing it behind her back.

KP She May Not Be Healthy

If your wife is your "life mate", have you ever asked her why she is feeling the way she is – like in a quiet setting, away from the bedroom AND not during one of your "regular" arguments about sex? She may have some very legitimate reasons for her behavior. She may also have serious problems that need to be addressed by a professional – physician, not sex therapist.

If you truly love your wife, get her help. If you just want sex – get a room!

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