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Dear M,

You seem to have quite a situation on your hands! It's probably not the best scenario that you met her in a chat room... but sometimes that's just how people meet.

I think it was good that you started out as friends first, and had the love interest sneak up on you later. My answer to this question would have been completely different if you had started some sort of internet love relationship immediately.

It's great that you have looked at the facts harshly. I used to date older guys where the ratio was usually age 15 to 17/18, and can understand the criticism that follows such a ratio. Your decision about waiting for sex is a good and important one, and no matter what happens you should continue to talk openly with your girlfriend about the unpleasant facts that come with your age difference.

Find Out How Her Parents Feel


You're right. He should talk to her parents.

Something you didn't mention in your letter which I think should be taken into consideration - her parents. How do they feel about this situation? They do know about this situation right? Unpleasant as it may be to hear, your girlfriend is a minor and you are an adult. So you've got to take the wishes and considerations of her parents/guardians into consideration.

RayTrue Love Can Always Wait


Maybe true love can wait, but 4 years is a long time to wait for sex!

True love can always wait. If what you have is real, I believe you can make it.


Why worry about her? HE will be the one missing out!

But always remember that your girlfriend is a child. By dating you, is she still having a chance to do all the things in her young teenage years that you got to experience? Just make sure you're not robbing her of anything she may regret not having done later in life.

Continue to talk about your decisions with her/her parents and I think it could work out, despite the age ratio.

Good luck, let us know what happens.

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